Guardians
by pinkxjellybean
Summary: Two strange woman run into Larry when he goes to DC to fetch the tablet. Slightly odd as the premise is pretty unique. Rating for adult language. i've cut the first chapter, because i know it was annoying.
1. an easy job

FRANKIE'S POV

We have a new assignment, finally! I mean, nothing against Wales, but this English weather, I can only take so much of it. And the fact that we're on post guarding a prison really doesn't help, especially since Magwitch is a prison for the Magically capable. Any way, so Rikki gets a text from our oracle saying that we are to immeadiately report to the Smithsonian Institutes in Washington. I'm a little hesitant to return since I've not seen my family since I left. I mean, I still talk to my Dad since he calls atleast once a week, and he says he's not mad that I left, but I know my mother is, since the arranged marriage she'd gotten for me would've raised our situation in the Magical Community.

Sorry, went off on a rant there.

So we go to DC, and we have to figure out how to get into the archives, which don't quite work out…so Rikki casts a spell to teleport us in, resulting in us falling maybe seven feet to the ground. Rikki lands on her feet, me flat on my face.

"Come along now, foolish girl", She hauls me up.

"What's our gig?"

"It's an easy job.'The Tablet of Ahkmenrah has been stolen. You are to retrieve it from the Federal Archives of the Smithsonian Museums before it falls into the wrong hands and return it to its rightful owner,'" she reads the text.

"If it's stolen isn't it already in the wrong hands?"

"Not nessasarilly," she starts along, hitting light switches as she goes.

"Well, if it's so very important, why don't Ahkmenrah just come and get it himself?"

"Because he's been dead for some 3000 years."

"Then what in the name of all that's holy are we doin'?!"

Rikki takes one of those deep breaths that means she can't believe she got stuck with so stupid an apprentice, "Because, Frankie, the Pharaoh Ahkmenrah is brought to life every night by the tablet, as is everything in the museum in which he dwells. A number of the exhibits were moved from the Museum of Natural History in New York to storage here. Either someone packed it by mistake, or one of the exhibits stole it so that they wouldn't have to cease living."

"So…everything down here's set to come to life as soon as the sun sets?" I pause trying to add it all up.

"Yes, my dear, now come along."

"What does this thing look like?"

"About a foot by a foot, a couple inches thick, solid gold," she gestures the size.

"How far off's sunset?"

"About…18 minutes…"

"Great…should only take a year to search this whole place"

"This is only one of the floors."

So after maybe fifteen minutes, we see this huge red tractor trailer type thing with NEW YORK MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY painted on the side, "Well," I said,"That wasn't so hard."

There's about seven men frozen in place out side of the trailer, six of them in leather tunics, wielding spears, and the other garbed in gold and tourquoise, and a spherical crown with the crest of Horus on it. The last guy is pointing angrily at the crate.

"Maybe, Ahkmenrah came to get his own tablet…" I say hopefully.

"No, this is not Ahkmenrah," Rikki glares at the man, "this would be the wrong hands."

I squeeze into the crate, which is open just a crack. Inside, there are frozen figures of huns, Neanderthals, a pretty Native American woman, some Roman and Cowboy miniatures and a monkey holding a solid gold tablet, "Bingo…" I pry it gingerly out of the primate's hands and squeeze back out of the crate, "I got it, now let's get outta here."

Rikki extracts a pocket ledger from the pocket of her overcoat. That little boat holds all of her spells as well as personal notes that she won't let me read. She opens it and flips through the pages looking for the teleportation spell, when this guy in a security guard uniform comes around the corner yelling at us, "Hey! Put down that tablet that's museum property!"

"Terribly sorry, sir," Rikki says quickly, "You see we were employed by the Museum of Natural History up in New York. Some rather clumsy workmen packed this up by mistake, and we are to return it, we'll be out of your hair in a moment, sir. Come along, Frankie," She starts walking and I follow.

"Well, no trouble at all," says the man, "But just in case, could I see your papers?"

"Our…papers?"

The look on Guard Dude's face turns real serious, "Look, hand over the tablet and I won't report you for larceny."

I look at Rikki, "Spell?"

"Found it," she says calmly, taking my hand and beginning to chant in Latin.

Guard-dude snatches the tablet out of my hands and turns on his heel.

I start after him, "Hey, Jag-off! Come back!"

We only go about five feet before the tablet starts glowing. Guard-dude stops, and slaps it like that's gonna do something. Then the dude in gold and tourqouise is telling in Egyptian. One of his soldiers locks the door of the crate before he turns to us, with a questioning look. He asks us something in Ancient Egyptian, which none of us respond to, "Uh, Sprechen zie Duetche?…Parlez-vous francais?…English, Elish perhaps."

"Yeah, we speak English," says Guard-dude.

"Oh, thank the gods, my French is terrible."

"Uh…I'm sorry, who are you?"

"I am Kahmunrah," he says dramtically, lisping, "Great king of Great Kings, and from the depths of ancient history, I have come BACK TO LIFE!"

"Uh-huh…"

"Perhaps you did not hear what I just said. I am a centuries old Egyptian Pharaoh. I was dead, but now I have come BACK TO LIFE!"

"Yeah, no, heard that, go that…Welcome back."

"Who are you?" Kahmunrah demands apparently surprised by Guard-dude's lack of surprise at the recital of these facts.

"Larry, Larry Daley, of Daley Devices, it's up in New York..."

Rikki makes this sound, like a mix between laughing and crying, putting her face in the palm of her hand.

"…Yeah, ya know it's funny, I actually know your brother, Ahkmenrah."

Rikki's head shoots up out of her hand at this.

"Oh, yes?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, he knows Baby Brother, the favourite son."

"Yeah, good kid," says Larry clearly oblivious to the bitterness in Kahmunrah's voice.

"Oh, isn't he just? You know, Mother and Father always gave him the best of everything, and I do mean everything. They even gave him the throne, the throne which should have been mine."

"Uh, he never mentioned that…"

"Oh, I just bet he didn't. Well, never mind that. Now begins the era of Kahmunrah, because I have come BACK TO- oh never mind just give me that tablet."

"Don't give it to him, Gigantor!" shouts a small voice in the trailer.

"Quiet! Don't make me come in there!" Kahmunrah turns back to us, "That tablet is more powerful that you Larry Daley of Daley Devices can possibly realize. Bringing things to life, merely a parlour trick. With it I shall bring forth my army from the lands of the dead. So if it's not too much trouble," he barks an order in Egyptian and his soldiers hold spears up to our necks, "Hand it over."

"Okay, here ya go," Larry said.

"'Re y'off yer flippin' nuts?!" I yell at him.

"Wize decision," Kahmunrah says, and starts away.

"Yeah, sorry," says Larry, "I just thought you wanted the cube."

"The Cube?"

"The Cube…of Rubic."

"Alright what is this Cube of Rubic?"

"It's the Cube!"

"We don't speak of it," Rikki says, "You know what happened last time…"

"What?" Kahmunrah asks.

"You know the continent of Pangea?" I ask, Well, let's just say it's not there anymore."

"Yeah," said Larry, "We don't blame you, I mean, your brother didn't wanna mess with it either. It's just you struck me as a next level sort of guy, my bad."

"Take me to this cube!" Kahmunrah orders.

"Really, dude, we don't blame you…" I say.

Of course we end up leading him to the mythical cube. Larry leads and I hope he has a plan. We finally approach a large rectangular crate, "Well, here we are."

"With the power of the tablet and of the Cube, my reign shall know no bounds!" Kahmunrah says rubbing his hands together.

"Who're you talkin' to?" I ask

"No one…Everyone….It's just a general reminder. I don't need to explain myself to you!!!" he points to Larry, open it!

Larry carefully pops open the locks and out pops a giant squid that knocks everyone around. The tablet goes flying and Larry catches it and runs, Rikki close behind. I start running only to be picked up by the squid and flung towards Kahmunrah who grabs me by the back of my neck, "Come Back! I still have your friends!"

Now I know how it feels to be the hostage of a nut job…well so much for an easy job, yeah?


	2. egocentric ravings of a nutty pharaoh

A/N: Hello, peoples, I'm back from vacation…though I suppose I haven't done much to earn a vacation. Last time I checked some forty people have read this story, and out of those forty, only one person has given me feed back (EmeraldClover89 who by the way has one of the best stories on this site and is awsum!) I really would appreciate any form of review, though I know that I didn't write much. No one responded to the question I posted in my last note, so I assume no one is really all that opposed to it…

FRANKIE'S POV

I'm in a box. Well, a trailer is a more effective term. It's dark and I can't see for a bit, til my eyes adjust. About that time another person is put in with us. He's garbed in a uniform for a 19th century American army general. My first thought is, "Oh, thank you God!" I mean the dude's a general. Surely he'd be able to come up with a plan…right?

He sits down on a crate and starts brushing his hair.

"'Scuse me, sir," I ask, "but, uh, seein' as yer a general…and we're in quite a fix…I was wonderin' if maybe you had a plan?"

The man looks at me with this sad look, "You made me lose count…"

"Uh…so sorry, but as I said before…we sorta need a plan…"

"Darlin', I'm American, and us Americans, we don't think, we do! When you build a house, do you plan it?"

"Yes…in detail."

"Details are for the weak! And General George A Custer is not weak!"

"Custer?" I walk away, "crap," I sit down back next to a crate.

"Don't worry!" yells a small voice next to me. One of the tiny cowboys, a dude named Jed is shouting up at me, "Unlike that dunderhead, I have a plan. See, I told all my workers to wire all our dynamite to that there door."

"I like your plan…it's simple an' easy to remember. But…is there anything I can do?"

"Just sit back and watch the progress. That's what I'm doin'."

A few minutes later, one of the tiny cowboys brings a detonator and rests it in front of Jed who prepares to press the detonator down as a tiny Roman general named Octavius marches over, "You know that's not going to work…"

"Yeah? Well I'ma do it anyway!" Jed slams the detonator down. There's a sound like rice crispies and a lot of smoke, but nothing else, "daggumit! I coulda sworn that'd work."

"I told you so!" said Octavius in a singsong voice.

Jed glares at him, clearly in no mood for his colleague's opinions on the topic of plans. The crate door busts open then and in pops two men…at least…I assume they were men as their faces were covered by chain mail that hung from their helmets. The two were garbed in a class of medieval armour. They look around the crate, speaking in Russian. One points to me, says something then hauls me out of the crate, me dragging my feet the whole way.

They put me to sit on a wooden crate in front of Kahmunrah who apparently has made a few acquaintances. He just sort of looks at me with this smirk like he's oh so superior, "now that you are present we may begin," he turns to the massive group of men behind him, and then sets forth upon a rather conceited tangent in which he explained that he was half-god and was going to rule the world. He introduces his generals.

Ivan Vasileyvich was dressed in silver fur lined robes. The Russian-style crown that sat on his head matched said robes. His jewel-covered fingers were clasped around an ornately carved staff. His men were the ones that had hauled me out of the crate. He raised a rather impressive eyebrow at the mention of his name.

Napoleon Bonaparte wore 18th century military garb. His jacket was green and white. Military metals covered his chest and hat.

Al Capone (apparently before he got old and fat…) was dressed in a pinstripe suit and wore a grey fedora and carted a Thompson Submachine Gun…oh, and was, uh, completely monochromatic.

"All I ask is your allegiance and in return, I offer you gentlemen the world, literally, are there any questions?"

"Yeah, I got one," Capone asks, "How come youse's wearin' a dress?" A few of his colleagues make utterances of agreement.

"This is not a dress," Kahmunrah says calmly, "this is a tunic. It was the height of fashion three thousand years ago, I assure you. Any other questions?"

"Da," says Ivan, "this dress you are wearing…must we wear one of these, too?"

"No, of course not! Didn't you just hear what I said to Mr. Capone here? This is not a dress; it is in fact a tunic. Very big difference. Any other questions?" Napoleon starts to put his hand up, "Any questions not about the dress-tunic?"

Napoleon puts his hand back down, "I've got one! Ye said ya were addressin' the most feared leaders in all o' history. So, I must wonder, why 'sactly I'm here…is it 'coz you think that I'm a leader worthy of fear?"

They all burst in to fits of laughter 'til they're red of face, "No, my dear," Kahmunrah says leaning forward as he speaks, "You are here so that you may witness the growing might of my forces and tremble in complete and total terror!" he states dramatically.

As he'd leaned forward, I'd leaned back. Now I leaned around him and peered at the three generals, "Mmmmmh, I seen worse," I shrug.

Kahmunrah goes back to his egocentric ranting. In this situation, I slip off my Birkenstocks, so as to not make any noise, edge to the back corner of the crate and slowly back away, quietly away, leaving no one the wiser…or at least that's what I thought.


	3. wild girl chase

A/N: Me once more, if you've tuned in thus far, then you know the story's about to pick up, and if you didn't before, now you do. The first few chapters were slow, and I'm sorry about that, I hate that they were, but now it gets good. At least, I think it gets good, I don't know what anyone else thinks unless I get reviews (coughcoughcough).

CAPONE'S POV

Now, I saw the girl leave. I chose not to point out her absence to that dress-wearing idiot. I don't blame the doll for ankling away, I mean, it's no skin off my neck either way. And I don't really mind that that ding-dong told me to go look for her, what man complains about being sent after a girl (so long as he ain't married to her, I mean)?

But I act like I'm put off by it, since I can't have none of my boys like I'm anybody's messenger boy. They get that idea, they'll never do anything, and my workload goes up. So I tell them to spread out and find her, but I keep Frank Gallucio with me. They all start scattering like cockroaches in pairs.

"Bring her back unharmed!" Kahmunrah orders.

"Keep your hands to yourselfs," I translate, "That means you, Tommy."

Razolli just shrugs and goes after Nitti.

"Come on, Gallucio," I say walking in the direction the doll went.

"Alright, Boss."

I kinda hope to find her first. I hate saying so, but I don't trust a few of the boys…least not with women.

Gallucio I trust…sometimes. He's pretty loyal, even if he ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. Being that he ain't that bright, and the attention span of a fish, I have to constantly remind him that we have a job to do. I had to practically drag him away from the dinosaur skeletons.

"Sorry, Boss…" he says looking at his shoes.

"I'm not mad at you."

"Hey, Boss," he grabs my arm and pulls me back a few feet then points up to the top of the crates, "Look."

The girl's up on top of the crates, twenty of so feet in the air, barely visible. She's running.

"Come on," I start to follow her, a few feet back, so she won't see us right away. She's pretty fast. When she comes to the end of a row, I figure, "We got her now."

Instead, she jumps the gaps. Until the third gap when she falls down those twenty feet to the ground. Neither me or Gallucio move. She died. Just like that. Fell and snapped her spine. From where we are I can see her leg pointed in a way that just looks wrong.

"Cristo…" Gallucio mutters next to me, crossing himself, starting towards the dead girl on the floor. I follow him, not really wanting to, but moved by some grotesque curiosity. When we're two or three feet from her, she moves. She's not dead after all, but no one could survive a fall like that…

She pushes herself up to sit, moving her leg gingerly, cursing underher breath.

"Are you alright?" I ask.

"Just flippin' peachy," she says without looking up. She moves the leg quickly, putting it right, making this sick cracking noise.

"We seen ya fall," Gallucio explains, "We thought youse's croaked."

"No," she chuckles, looking up at us for the first time. Her eyes get big as saucers, "crapinahat!" she gets up and starts running. She gets maybe five feet before Gallucio catches her and holds her up off the floor, one thick arm around her waist, "Help!!! Someone! Anyone! The Chicago Outfit's tryin' to lift me!!!! Help!!!"

I put my hand over her mouth, "Jesus, doll, you got some pipes on ya."

She narrows her eyes at me.

"Boss, want I should make her quiet?"

Her head shakes wildly, as she is put on edge by the proposition.

"No, Gallucio, she's not gonna cause no trouble, is you?"

She shakes her head, at looks innocent, and says what sounds like, "I promise." So I move my hand and her head goes back and she screams, "SOME ONE CALL ELIOT NESS!"

I put my hand back over her mouth, "Now, I consider that causin' trouble. You want Gallucio to extinguish you?"

She just glares at me. Swings her foot and hits me in the shin, then whacks her head back against Gallucio's nose, then runs like someone was holding a gun her way.

I rub my shin, "Come, Gallucio, we gotta track that broad."

"Can't we feed her to the dinosaurs an' call it even?"

I look at him seriously, "No, Frank," he knows I'm serious since I used his first name. I don't say so, but I kind of wanna go along with his plan.


	4. lost in NYCfor a minute

A/N: The following is a notice from the managers of this story; review. That is all, please enjoy.

RIKKI'S POV

I got separated from the idiotic Daley after we crossed paths with a certain famous aviatrix. I needed a plan and I was fairly sure any plan of Daley's would fail miserably. I went up the nearest stairway, anything to escape this labyrinth. That stairway led in to the American History Museum, through which I figured Daley and Amelia had run through, as everything was alive. I plop down in the flag gallery since it was quiet, so I could come up with a plan. My ears discerned the sound of Russian voices speaking the language, inferring that they were looking for me.

Apparently Kahmunrah had recruited Ivan Vasileyvich and set him on my trail. Having realized that the time allotted to my plans was interrupted, I made my escape up to the second floor. There is an exhibit dedicated to all the wars involving America since its inception as an independent nation. It was the perfect place to hide as it was loud and there were a lot of people moving around.

Perfect until I got as far as World War II, when I heard Russian being yelled. I wasn't sure if it was Ivan, or the Cold War display through the little tunnel over there. People were moving in and out of this mural on the wall of the Sailor and the Nurse in Times Square on VJ-Day. I move towards the mural and put my hand on the wall.

It went in to the picture, and I followed it. In to the crowd I went, looking back over my shoulder. The whole place was monochromatic except for a rectangle where the outside world was still coloured. From the rectangle leered Ivan and a few Streltsi. They started in after me, so I turn and run. As the entire city of New York is partying, I bumped a lot of people but I couldn't really stop and apologize for obvious reasons. A hand grabs my arm. Believing it to be one of the men after me, I draw back a fist as I face my captor…

Or a kid sailor…

"Hey, what's your rush?"

I look back. Ivan is within sight, but he hasn't spotted me yet. So I turn and walk away.

"Are those jerks followin' you?" the boy asks. I don't answer so he goes on, "Ya know that's the second group of weirdos I've seen in the last hour! Before them ther was this guy, Daley I think, and these guys were following him looked like they were trussed for Mardi Gras or something'. I can help you."

I look at him levelly, "Look, junior-"

"It's Joey."

"Fine, Joey, those men are some of the most ruthless men in all of history. How can a boy like you help me against them?"

"Well, you're a woman-"

I look at him, turn on my heel and start away.

"Look, you said those guys are ruthless, and I take your world for it. That's why I want to help you!"

I look around, "Look, Joey, you get me out of here without me being caught, I'll let you tag along."

"Deal," he opens the door of a photo shop and gives me a shove in, closes the door and leans against it outside. A minute or two later a voice with a thick Russian accent says, "We are looking for a girl."

"Yeah, so'm I!" Joey says cheerfully.

"Don't play dumb!" Ivan says as I peer through the window.

"I didn't see nothin'!" Joey says indignantly. One of the streltsi grabs Joey and put him in an arm lock, and applied pressure resulting in Joey yelling, "She went down the street, three blocks then turned left! Now please lemme go!!!"

"Thank you, boy," Ivan says, calling off his soldiers. They march away. When they're completely out of sight, Joey opens the door and leads me out, "come on, let's get you outta here!" he escorted me to the exit.

I jump right out. Joey looks hesitant but follows me. Having emerged, he was no longer monochromatic. I start away from the mural, Joey close on my heels.

"So, what are we up to?" Joey asks.

"My daughter is being held captive by a psychotic pharaoh. I have to save her."

"You have a kid? How old're you?"

"If you are going to tag along with me, you need to follow two simple rules; you do what I say and you don't ask questions. Do you think you can so that?"

He salutes, "Yes ma'am!"

He follows me through the archives after we search the museum, and go up into the National Portrait Gallery. The Hermes that had stood in the fountain in the lobby was shooting around with the cupids from the fountains down the hall. They were causing mischief as usual in that Hermes (patron god of thieves) stole Joey's sailor cap and flew around with it. Joey runs after it for a few minutes while they play keep away, "Hey1 come on, guys! Give me my cap back! Jesus, if my sarge catches me outta full uniform he'll put me on kitchen duty for a month!" he complains chasing a cupid.

"Heads up!" the cupid chucked the cap to Hermes, but it's intercepted by a man with the same colouring that Joey used to possess. Except he isn't a sailor or a soldier. He looks more like a gangster, or a detective from an oold movie.

"This yours?" he asks holding the hat out to Joey.

"Yessir…" said Joey, rather pale.

The guy raises his brows, "Ya want it back?"

Joey snatches it nervously, "Uh, sorry, sir," he plops the hat on his head.

"You know me," says the bemused man.

"Yessir, Mr. Capone, sir," says Joey, saluting.

Capone just chuckles.

"Ah, there you are!" shouts a voice. I don't need to turn to know that it's Ivan.

"Here we are," I say mundanely.

"This's the dame you was s'posed to catch?" Capone asked.

"At least I caught my charge," Ivan says.

"I caught mine!" Capone says, "Hey, Gallucio, come'ere real quick."

A large man comes in with Frankie over his shoulder.

"Frankie, where are your shoes?" I ask.

The guy holding her looks at his feet, "I'm wearin'em…"

I was about to tell him that I wasn't talking to him when Capone said, "Gallucio, have you ever met this woman?"

"No, Boss…"

"So she wouldn't know your name would she?"

"No, Boss…"

"Then what can we assume?" Capone talks to him in a careful way, like he's talking to a little kid.

Gallucio's face scrunches up for a minute, then it lights up, "That she's talkin' ta the other Frankie!"

"That's right, Gallucio."

"Gosh, Boss, you knew that all along? Gee, yer smart!"

"I try."

I look at Joey, asking without words what was up. He just shook his head like either he didn't know or he didn't want to say.

"If they're where I left'em they're in the archives somewhere," Frankie says.

"Let's get the skirts and sammy bellbottoms ," Capone says turning out of the room, Gallucio follows him. Ivan herds us with his staff like he's a shepherd and we're the sheep.

"I tried," Joey said.

"I know."


	5. and he expects me to trust him

A/N: Sorry if you already read this chapter, i was having technical difficulties. here you go. as always r&r

RIKKI'S POV

Frankie looks at me and the boy at my side as we walk behind Gallucio so that we can speak with her, "Who're you?" she asks Joey suspistiously.

"Joseph Motorola," he doffs his cap, "at your service, ma'am," he stares at her with wide eyes and doesn't look away as he speaks.

"Yer a navy man?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Don't you ma'am me. I'll bet yer older'n me. My name's Frankie."

"Alright, Frankie," he says nervously smiling.

"I prefer the Air Force to the Navy any day, but you sailors get the best uniform of the lot."

"We do, don't we? Tell me, what's so swell about the Air Force? They're just a bunch of Flyboys."

I look at Frankie, waiting for her reaction.

"My father was Air Force, before…he got enlisted in IBSID."

"What's IBSID?"

"International Bureau for Supernatural Investigation and Defense," I said to him, "That's what we do. You've never heard of it because technically speaking it doesn't exist."

"Oh, a government secret…" Joey says as if he knows all about that sort of thing.

"Did you miss the part where I said international? It's not any one government."

"Supernatural though? That stuff ain't real."

"So, you have another explanation for how everythin' in the museums're comin' to life?" Frankie says, "Coz I'd love to hear it, Einstein."

"Ok…"

"There there, we all look stupid sometimes…"

"Yes," I state, "and Frankie is quite experienced in looking stupid."

She sticks her tongue at me.

"Hey," Joey says to her, "can I ask you a question?"

"If you'd like" she says.

"Are you really her daughter?"

"Yeah, can't ya see the family resemblance?"

Well that shuts him up.

She looks like she feels bad about making him sad so she said, "Oh, chin up, Joe! Could always be worse! Could be in y situation, bein' carted about on some ding-dongs shoulder like a sack of turnips!" she yells the last bit at Gallucio's head. Joey cracks a smile, "hey! There ya go, Bucko! Ya know…yer knida cute…"

For a few seconds nothing happens. When those few seconds are over, I run into Gallucio who screeches to a stop in an attempt to not run over his boss who wheels around Gallucio and me to Joey and grabs him by the collar and hauls him up off the floor, "That doll's mine!"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Capone sir, I didn't know it was like that, sir!" Joey says.

And from the look on Frankie's face she didn't either, "Put him down!!!"

Capone ignores Frankie for a minute but ultimately lets Joey go. He takes a gun from one of his goons and said, "get back to where ever you came from or else they're gonna have to wash you off the walls with a fire hose.

"Yessir!" Joey turns and flees the vicinity.

'Well…he lasted longer than I thought he would,' I think.

Capone takes Frankie away from Gallucio and holds her by her arm, and starts away, "Ivan, take the other one ahead, I gotta talk to this one."

His goons follow him and Ivan herds me forward again.

"Nice pimpstick," I say, trying to get on better terms with my captor than Frankie was with her.

FRANKIE'S POV

Capone tells his boys to "take a walk" then watches them 'til he's sure they're out of hearing from the little gallery we're in. I however don't, "Since when'm I yours?"

"Since I said so," he says still watching his lackies.

"Don't be an ass."

He looks at me with his brows furrowed, "You ain't exactly in a position to call names."

"Ask me if I give a crap."

"Look-"

"Where'd ya get off threat'nin' Joey like that? Just coz I think he's cute! You got no right to go'n throw a hissy fit."

"Calm down. I don't want you. You're too young for me and I like'em taller. I need you to trust me."

"Trust you?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Cuz, I wanna help you. I gotta plan and you need to trust me."

I'm suspistious and rightly so. Al Capone is telling me to trust him because he's got a plan, which will help me… "Why do I need your help?"

"Cuz the Egyptian Idiot told me to return you to him. Which means he wants you for himself, Now, I don't know about you , but I don't trust that guy as far as I can throw him, but if you like him…well, I ain't one to interfere."

I stare at him for a minute, "Are you teasin' me?"

He gives a smirk that's almost a smile, "Trust me, alright?"

"What would I have to do?"

"Nothing much. Just play along, alright. Act like you hate my guts, like you've been doin' all along. But play along, and do as I say."

"No promises."

He almost smiles again, and puts his arm around my shoulder and walks me out of the gallery, "I don't expect any."


	6. Mae scares him

A/N: Sorry for the short chapter. Kinda just something I wanted to get over with. As always R&R, plz

RIKKI'S POV

Capone brought Frankie back without any physical signs of trauma, which I guess I can be thankful for. But she was unusually quiet.

"Did he hurt you?"

"No," she looks at me with a calm in her eyes that does little to put my nerves to rest.

But I can't exactly say anything else on the matter at least I can't think of anything else to say on the matter. But Frankie is acting oddly. Usually animated and verbal, she sits very still on the floor next to me, back straight ears perked up. Her eyes shift to the right constantly. I don't ask why or anything because if she intended to allow me entrance into the loop, she would tell me unbidden.

I look where she is trying not to. Capone is talking to Kahmunrah in quiet tones with an over-confident smirk on his face, leaning over the table that separates them. Frankie watches them. Her eyes follow Capone when he walks away from the table. His head tilts ever so slightly. The slightest of nods. If you weren't looking for it you might not think he moved at all.

Frankie lets go of the breath she had been holding, and her posture relaxed slightly.

I wonder about what I've missed for a good long minute or so until another monochromatic man comes into the room carting a

bird-cage.

CAPONE'S POV

I'm sitting next to Gallucio. He polishes his gun, soming he tends to do when he's nervous, whether the gun needs it or not.

"What's on your mind?" I ask him.

"You're married…"

"I am aware of this fact."

"Well, if you're takin' in another girl, don't ya think Mae might be alittle…ya know, pissed?"

"I ain't takin' in another girl."

"It's just…Mae scares me sometimes…She gave me $500 dollars to keep you from cheatin' on her. And if she finds out 'bout that other dame, she's gonna take it out on me."

"Then I guess it's a good thing I ain't cheatin'on her. I love my wife, Frank. No matter what I do with this doll, I promise you I ain't cheatin' on Mae. Alright? I promise."

This conversation apparently doesn't make Gallucio calm down, and I just figure that a little worrying might do him good.

"Boss, We found this one tryin' to escape through one of the rust holes in the crate," Razzolli goes right past me to Kahmunrah, leaving me wondering something along the lines of, 'Where the hell is he goin'?'


	7. just when I was starting to trust him

A/N Hello once more. Now, I'm sure all of you either have set images in your minds of what my OCs look like, in which case this note is of little importance to you and you can skip right to the story, though honestly I wonder if anyone really reads these notes. But if you want to know how I personally imagine Rikki and Frankie, well then here you go. Simply google Image these women and you ought to be set.

Frankie: 'Natalia Vodianova as Jean Shrimpton,' but you need to imagine her hair at chin length and a little lighter, and her build a little curvier.

Rikki: 'Mia Maestro', mentally add a thin scar on the side of her face.

Oh, and I was watching the DVD commentaries and apparently the cupids were originally going to be based on the characters from the Sopranos. I love this idea and was seriously considering putting them in, are there any objections?

That's all. R&R plz.

FRANKIE"S POV

Capone's henchie brings in a farmilliar little man in a bird cage, "Jed," I whisper.

"Who's he?" Rikki asks.

"One of the New Yorkers," I whisper back.

Any way, we're too far from Kahmunrah and all them to hear what's going down but Jed is kept in the cage for the few seconds it takes for Napoleon to show up with Larry in tow.

Kahmunrah gets up and crosses the floor to Larry, one of Ivan's buddies brings Rikki over and Gallucio brings me about half way before putting his hand on my shoulder so I couldn't get any farther than that.

"Well well well, Mr. Daley…" Kahmunrah says, "It seems that you are now farmilliar with Monsieur Napoleon, now allow me to introduce the rest of my associates." He waves at Ivan and Capone as he names them, then snatches the tablet out of Larry's hands, "Thank you." He turns toward the gate to the underworld and puts the tablet in place, tapping the squares, in what looks like random order, "Finally, my beautiful, beautiful army of the damned will be unleashed!" he turns towards us, wild eyed.

"Ooooh….Aaaahhh," I say, "Oh wait was something supposed to happen?"

Kahmunrah narrows his eyes at me then turns back to the tablet and whacks the little square pieces again, once more nothing happens, "Well, I guess Mother and Father may have slightly changed the combination on me…"

"There is writing on this tablet," Ivan says, "Perhaps they are instructions?"

"I don't know I can't read."

Everyone's quiet for a minute. Ivan breaks the quiet, "What do you mean you can't read?"

"I never needed to. I had a royal reader who did all that boring stuff for me."

"Where's your reader now?" Rikki asks, coyly.

"Shut up!" Kahmunrah growled.

Larry chuckled clearly relieved.

Ivan rounds on him, 'You were guard of this tablet! You perhaps know its secrets!"

"Huh?" Larry's eyes got huge, "I don't really-"

"Do you like your feet?"

"Wha- yeah, I like my feet. Why?"

"Because I will put them in place where you can never use them again!"

"I don't know anything about the tablet…"

"Do not lie to me. I can smell a lie upon a man!" he towers over Larry, clearly in his space, then suddenly backs off, "He tells the truth. He knows nothing."

Larry looked ready to faint, he regains his colour relatively quickly, and musters up the guts to chuckle, "Wow, I guess this is a real downer to you, I mean, you've waited thousands of years to bring your army…but now…you can't seem to get it open…"

"Never fear," Kamunrah says, "I shall wait a thousand more if I must."

" Good, because in a few hours you'll be just standing there in a frustrated position. Then I'll just walk out of here with my buddies."

"Hmm, all night? Well, he doesn't," Kahmunrah points at Jed in his little bird cage. He walks slowly toward Razzoli, "Open that cage," he orders, causing Jed to freak out.

"Hey! Leave'im alone!" I yell at him.

"Can it," Capone says over his shoulder.

"No touching!" Jed screams, "Don't you man handle me!"

Kahmunrah drops the cowboy into an hour glass, closes it and flips it over.

"Pick on some one your own size!" I shout at the Pharaoh.

Capone turns around and slaps me. Not all that hard. Me being me, I glare at him and say, "My grandma hits me harder when she's sober'n in a good mood."

Capone gives me this look like he's asking what I'm doing and if I'm crazy.

"You gonna let the dame talk to ya like that, Boss?" Razzoli asks.

Capone looks at him then at me, then pulls back and hits me square in the mouth, slicing my lip open on my teeth and busting my gums, in short, a lot of blood poured into my mouth. The impact of Capone's fist shoved me back into Gallucio pretty hard.

Rikki starts forward, a hard look on her face, but Ivan's henchies hold her back. For a minute she struggles, but eventually gives in and says to Kahmunrah, "alright, we'll find the combination for you. Just give me Frankie and we'll go."

"No," Kahmunrah sneers, "She will stay here with us. Insurance, you call it. But, don't worry. Mr. Capone will keep her safe.

"But, we don't know how to even begin to decypher this thing!" Larry objects.

"Ah, what a pity." Kahmunrah says to Larry looking into the hourglass, "your little cowboy friend seemed like such a charming fellow. Tick tock, your hour has begun. Now, shoo."

Rikki and Larry leave.

Some blood drips from my lip. Capone looks at me for a moment, "Come on," he motions Gallucio to follow. Gallucio brings me along. I taste the metallic, copper taste and would personally prefer not to swallow, but not wanting to spit on the floors, and thus leaving my DNA and therefore creating more paperwork that I personally ever feel comfortable doing.

Capone leads us to a door with a sign stating that only "Authorized Personel" was allowed in. The door was kicked in and the alarms rigged into the door was ripped from its place. We go through the doors and down a hallway to a locker room. Capone takes my arm and pulls me into the room, "Gallucio, wait here, will you."

"Yes, Boss."

Capone closes the door and turns to me.

A/N CLIFF HANGER!!!! DUN-DUN-DUN!!!


	8. busted lips and damp handhercheifs

Capone goes past me into a room attached to the locker room that we're standing. I hesitate to follow him anywhere alone (as if having any of his henchies near by would save me at all). The connecting room is a shower room like the ones in public gyms. There are six showers lining the right side of the room when you go in. Sad grey shower curtains hang. On the left side there are sinks, again six, set in a thick metal counter with a long stretch of mirror on the wall over.

That's where he is. His jacket is folded over next to him on the counter. His sleeves are rolled up and it looks like he's washing his hands. I stand in the door, not sure exactly why I'm here. The sharp pain in my mouth has dulled to an uncomfortable ache. He glances over his shoulder, "Well, come here."

I move forward though I don't think I ought to. I stand next to him, still not sure why I'm here. From what I can see, Capone wasn't washing his hands after all. A white cloth sits in the water that fills the sink half way, part of it in the water, part out.

"Sit," he pats the counter for me. I hop up on the counter top as he asks. He picks up the cloth and takes hold of my face, I edge back, "Calm down, I'm not gonna hurt ya."

"You'll forgive me if I'm on edge."

"Yeah, guess you're right," he hold the cloth out to me, "your mouth must bestartin'."

I nod shortly and take the thing from him, face the mirror and dab at my lip.

"I'm sorry," he says watching water sirl down the drain, "I didn't mean for that to happen. But you've gotta understand, Babydoll, a man in my situation has to act as is expected of him. If I let any disrespect slip, then my boys think that they can bad mouth me and it becomes nuthin' but work." I don't say anything to this because in a rather frightening way that I can't explain his logic makes sense. Great, he scrambled my brains! "I was just gonna lt it slide before Tommy said somethin' 'bout it."

"It's alright," I fold by lip down to look at it. It's healed up already, "I'll be fine."

He looks at me weird like people do when I heal so fast, "Are you sore at me? Coz I don't blame you if you are."

"I just said I wasn't."

"Yeah, but you dames're screwy. You say you're alright but then you go on for ever 'bout somethin' that happened ten years ago…"

"What in what you've seen of me has made you believe that I'm capable of keepin' quiet 'bout anythin'?"

He shrugs into his jacket, "Point taken." Then we leave as if nothing had changed at all.


	9. only in my life

A/N sorry the chapter's so short. Please R&R, to those who have or have messaged me, you lot rock and are serious awsumfulnes!!!

FRANKIE'S POV

So, my life's always been weird. I know this. Stuff happens to me that no other girl would even imagine. So the situation I found myself in wasn't really all that odd. Allow me to explain. Capone brings me back up to the castle where apparently there had been some dispute over how the earth would be divided among the four rouges. So Kahmunrah in his "infinite and boundless wisdom" found the solution.

He stood up on one of the balconies in the castle main room, with a Twister spinner, "Prepare yourselves," he said ominously, flicking the spinner, "This is going to be fun," he assures us as the spinner twirls. Ivan and Napoleon stand at the ready in front of a rug depicting the world with all of the continents different colours. The spinner stops, "right foot blue!" says the ever Karloff-esque voice.

The two pounce upon North America.

"Very good," says Kahmunrah, spinning the arrow again, "uh…left foot red!"

They stomp their other feet down on Africa. Kahmunrah starts to spin again but stops short, "Where is Mr. Capone? Doesn't he want to play?"

"Yeah, I ain't playin' no games!" Capone yells from where he is in front of his exhibit, "Did you know 'bout this?" he asks the general population pointing to his exhibit with the hat in his hand.

"I had heard a rumour," Ivan says calmly.

"I'm gonna be fat!" Capone says staring at the mug shot in the blown up newspaper in his display, "and locked up for Income Tax Evasion. Tax evasion… What kind of punk gets pinched for TAX EVASION!!???" he stomps h is feet.

The profile shot in the mug shot turns his head, "What you lookin' at, punk?"

Capone looks away for a minute, respectful of his elders.

The other side snorts, "You heard the man. Scram! Funny lookin' kid, huh?"  
""You said it."

I laugh at the ludicrous situation that I've gotten into. I'm hostage to a psychotic pharaoh with a voice stolen from Boris Karloff, Ivan the Terrible and Napoleon are playing Twister, and Al Capone is being chewed out by his mug shots that have apparently taken notice of me, and Capone feels that it's necessary to lead me out of their range of sight.


	10. like trusting a vegas dealer

A/N I cut the first chapter because it annoyed me and I think everyone else, so this is chapter ten, and would've been eleven with the original first. please review! if anything confuses you, please feel free to message me with questions.

FRANKIE'S POV

Capone leads me by the arm to a couch his boys "borrowed" from somewhere or other. He sits down, and I stand there, once more not quite sure what to do. He looks at me, "sit down. I won't bite…unless ya want me to."

My eyes drop like rocks, even though a part of me knows he's only joking. He pats the cushions next to him and I sit down, and watch him. He cracks his neck and leans his head against the couch back, closing his eyes. I'm sitting on his left side so I can see the scars on his cheek. They don't look so bad…at least I don't think so… but you could chalk it up to his colouring. It's hard to see any contrast, so the scars kinda fade into his skin tone. I reach a tentative hand out to touch his face. The second my fingertips touch his skin, his eyes pop open and he snatches my wrist, making gasp.

He looks at me with cold eyes, "did you touch me?"

"Yes…" I say.

"Why?" he sounds angry, and his grasp on my wrist tightens.

"I dunno," I wince at the pain.

He holds a minute longer then lets go, rolls his head back and closes his eyes again.

"I'm sorry," I say, "I didn't mean to ball you up so."

"Do you know how I came by these scars?"

"Gallucio gave 'em to you fer insultin' his sister, or creepin' her out atleast…" I hesitate, "What I never could understand was why ya hired him after that."

"I had it comin' to me in away I guess. These scars made me humbler in a way…" he says and I try not to laugh, "When I figured I 'd need a body guard, Gallucio was the first person to come to mind. He scarred me for life, so I couldn't exactly forget him. He's loyal as they come, for better or worse," his eyes don't open again when he says this, and by the end of it, his words are scarcely above a whisper.

I lean back against the couch arm and look at him. His breath comes slowing and evenly. He's asleep? I didn't know photographs could sleep.

From the corner of my eye I see something moving, drawing my eye to…

Joey?

He waves his arms over head trying for my attention, "Come here," he mouths.

I look at Capone, fast asleep, snoring lightly and figure I can go talk to Joey for a minute, against my better judgement.

"What's up?" I ask.

"I'm here to save you!" he grabs my hand and drags me along for a few minutes, running as fast as his 1945 lung will let him. I try to calm him down and make him stop running, but I'm laughing too hard to get out a complete sentence. While I know I ought to go back, this is the most fun I've had in a few hours.

He drags me through the doors, running still, and up into his art museum. His legs are a lot longer than mine so he covers more land faster.

"Joey, stop, I mean it," I say trying to sound stern as we go through the door because Joey has a key for some reason or other, "I have to go back."

He looks at me, "Why? I just got you outta that joint…"

"And I'm thankful for your efforts. But I can take care of myself."

"Are oyu sure, 'cause I know a guy who's throwin' a party…"

"Did you drag me over here just so you could ask me out?"  
"Maybe…I mean how else was I supposed to get you away from Capone? I mean, are you really with Capone?"

"Not really. I'm in a bit of a jam, and Mr. Capone is helping me."  
"Do you think you can trust his help?"

"Trusting Capone is like trusting a Vegas dealer. You don't wanna becoz he might be with holding all the good cards, but you have to trust them if you wanna win."

"So…"

"I've gotta get back," I start away from him, until I see two of Capone's boys and drag Joey into a nearby closet.

"Why'd you hide from his employees if you wanna go back?"  
"Becoz I should go back alone, and tell him I was hungry or something. I f they catch me, I can't give excuse." There's a shuffling noise. I turn on a light and see that there's atkeast twelve people wrapped in duct tape, and gagged. "The security guards?"

"Well, yeah, whadya think, we didn't have any? Where do you think I got the key?"  
I start untying them, one by one. And they thank me, "Oh, thank god!" "We were worried we'd never be found!"

Until I get to a round one, "Hey, baby," he says.

"Uh…dude?"

"Why don't you and I go find a starbucks and get to know each other a little better?"

I pause, then put his gag back over his mouth and leave the closet, Joey following, closing the door after us.

"Goddamit, Brundan!" says someone inside.

"Well, can I at least follow you back, ya know to make sure you're alright?" Joey asks.

"Only for a minute…" I say, rounding a corner into Gallucio.

"I've been lookin' fer you," he says to me, then glares at Joey who turns and flees. Gallucio holds me by my arm and pulls me along, "Boss ain't gonna be happy to hear you're hangin' with that sammy."

"oh, do we really have to tell him?" I ask innocently as I can.

He looks at me seriously, then drags me back across the mall to Capone who's still on the couch.

"Where'd ya find her?" Capone asks.

"In the portrait gallery, with that Motorola kid," Gallucio says in a calm voice, though he looks nervous about his boss's apparent spontaneous combustion that will surely come.

"Go," Capone says to Gallucio who leaves,"sit," he tells me."

I do so, hoping that he's not really mad, "I was goin' to the bathroom and I-"

"Save it for some one who'll buy it," he sounds really angry, "Didn't I tell you to stay put?"  
"I don't think those were your exact words, but-"

"You go near that boy again and-"

"What? You'll hit me again?! You may have all your boys runnin' 'round like chickens with their heads cut off, but I won't, hear me?"

He takes a deep breath, "I ain't gonna hit you. It clearly didn't work the first time."


	11. a waste of time

FRANKIE'S POV

"You're an ass-hole," I glare at Capone from my spot, fastened to a column by thick logging chains, "Ya know that?"

"Quiet down," Capone says leaning on a jukebox.

"I'll be quieter if you'd LET ME DOWN!!!" I scream at him.

"You'd be quieter with a bullet in your brain, too, but I ain't about to shoot you."

I glare daggers at him, "LET ME DOWN!!!"

Capone tinkers with the machine so the volume goes up. The big band music drowns out my voice. I bang my head on the stone behind my head, risking concussion, I know, but I'm bored out of my mind, "Cut it out!"

"Not 'til ya let me down!"

He comes over and for a brief shimmering moment, I believe that I have won. That moment ends when Capone puts a pillow behind my head and shoulders, a snug fit. Then he turns and goes back to his gang, and I am left to my scowling.

'Till of course my phone rings and Adele's "Chasing Pavements" pours out of my pocket.

Capone moves towards me, and against my protests takes the phone from my pocket, "The hell's this?"  
"It's a phone," I say, since I know he'll figure it out eventually any way.

" 'Answer…'" he reads off the screen, then hits the button and holds it to his ear, "Hello?" I hear the far away sound of a voice on the other end, but I can't discern the words or their meanings, "Uh, no," Capone says, "she can't come to the phone right now, she's a little tied up…" he smirks at me.

"Och, yer so witty!" I say sarcastically.

"…Can I take a message?…Me? Oh, my name's Alphonse…Yeah, uh you could call me her boyfriend I guess…"

"Who's that!?" I demand.

"No, we've never met…"

"Is that my father?"

"Well, sir, if you've got a message, leave it now, 'cause I've got things to do," Capone says, then listens for a while then says in an angry tone, "Well, the same to you!" and hangs up, and slipps the phone back into my pocket, "Your pop says hi."

"You're an ass-"  
"Ass-hole, yeah yeah I know. You mentioned that once or twice before," he says, walking away from me.

RIKKI'S POV

While that was going on, the three of us had just decided to seek the help of Mr. Albert Einstein in the Air and Space Museum. Before that we had gone through the Natural History Museum and there confronted a rather angry mummy who had been dubbed Minister Cox after the man who donated him (what else he would have done with it I don't know) who we had let out of his case, in the hopes that he would be able to help us translate it. Releasing him was Daley's idea because, as he put it, "In my experience, mummies are so thankful to be let out that they are pretty helpful."

So it was only fitting that Minister Cox went after Daley first with a broken shard of pottery. But it's alright because Amelia and I took care of it.

"How many mummies have you released on the world, Mr. Daley?" Amelia asks.

"Uh…one…"

Then we went to the National Portrait Gallery as they had a Presidential Gallery, and Amelia had said, "Who's smarter than the President?"

"His speech writer," I said.

And that was a load of fun. The bust of Theodore Roosevelt managed to translate the tablet, "'You will find the combination that you seek if you figure out the secret at the heart of Pharaoh's tomb.'"

However, Mr. Roosevelt wasn't quite riddle savvy, and he sent us in search of Jefferson, who was out of his frame as he had gone to the French Galleries. So we tried to see if any of the other presidents knew the riddle, a waste of time. All the portraits were yelling at each other about who was smarter, stronger, better, etc. The other two finally conceded defeat when Bush Senior hit Daley with a horse shoe and Clinton started trying to flirt with Amelia, and she started to scold him, wagging her finger like she was addressing a five year old rather than a former President of the United States. As we left, the voice of G.W. Bush yelled, "We all oughta be in agreement that I'm smartest!"

Then there was the Thinker, which I don't want to discuss, but just so you understand what that was like, when he was introducing himself, he said, "Yeah, I'm 'The Thinker'," he read off his plaque, " 'By, August Ro-daan…'" he gasped, "Rodan!!! I remember when Rodan fought Godzilla!"

Yeah…

The best idea was in fact from Daley who came up with the idea of asking Mr. Einstein for help. And so we embarked forth out of the museum, only to soon realize that we were being hunted down by the streltzi of Ivan Vasileyvich. I sent Daley and Amelia in to hiding and offered myself as a distraction. Which worked pretty well until Ivan figured out I was just running in circles, and doubled back. Then I was surrounded by goons, and my phone decides that it's time to ring. I take it out, flip it open and look at the screen. Frankie's dad, George is calling. I put my finger in the air, "One moment, " I answer the phone, "Yes?"

"Who's this Alphonse punk who's dating my daughter?"

"Well, Frankie doesn't have a boyfriend, and I don't know any one named Alphon-" at which point I happen to look up and see Capone, "Oh…that Alphonse…yeah…don't worry I got this."

"That's what you said in Guatemala."

"Yeah…but that wasn't my fault! How was I to know the chubacabra had moved? It wasn't in my brief!"

"Where are you?"  
"DC."

"If you need anything-"  
"I'll call you," I state. Ivan makes a hand gesture like he's saying, "wrap it up." "I have to go, I'm in the middle of something," I hang up, "well, it's good to see you gentlemen again…"

"Where are your friends?" Ivan demands.

I don't reply, but as Napoleon has a telescope and is scouting the area, he shouts, "There! I have found them!" he points towards the Air and Space Museum.

They start towards the Museum, me in tow.

The lower level door is locked, "Oh, too bad…I guess we'll just have to go back to the castle and wait for them," I say. Ivan gives an order to one of his men and he smashes the door open with the ax, "or you could do that…"


	12. face palm a la capone

AN: YAY I HAVE 6 REVIEWS!!! Wow…well OOC WARNING for Capone. Sorry, saw this in the deleted scenes and HAD to use it. PLEASE RnR. I'll accept creative critism.

RIKKI'S POV

The three of them and their associates stroll casually through the lower level of the museum towards an elevator lift. Their goons pour into the lift as we approach. We're packed in tight. I'm in a lift with twenty other people. When the doors opened, the group poured out as fast as physically possible to get out of being so close to the other people. It takes a minute to catch my breath and take in all the space-craft going nutty.

"There they are!" Napoleon points to Daley and Amelia by the Lunar Rover. The two hop off the platform and run up the stairs nearby.

Capone grins, a rather unnerving sight, really… "Time for me to paint the town red!" he flips his coat off over dramatically, and takes aim.

"That means party…" I said, eager to take up time.

He sort of sighs, and goes back to aiming, he pulls the trigger and then- well, if you have believed anything I've said this far, well, I suspect the faith is about to go out the window, because you will never believe this- he started making explosion sounds with his mouth like gun shots, in slow motion.

"pshew…bpshew…bpshew…"

"What are you doing?!" Napoleon demanded, "They are getting away!"

"Hush now, little one, I'm takin' 'em down, gangster style."

"But you're not doing anything! You're just pretending to do something," Ivan says.

"Very slowly," I add.

"What you want something' with a little more gusto?" Capone asks "Alright. You hold on to French Toast here. Guh-guh-guh-" while Capone is making a fool of himself, his boys are nodding encouragingly.

"Alvin, you are an idiot," Ivan says bluntly "Your stupidity makes the hair on the back of my thigh stand up like a Russian ballerina."

"What? I gotta explain everything to you guys?" Capone stands up and starts talking like he's talking to a small child, "Every time I go 'guh' that's actually a bullet. So when I go 'guh-guh-guh' it's really 'bullet-bullet-bullet. Bullet-bullet-bullet…'" Ivan and Napoleon just walk away, soldiers following. Capone gets up slowly, "Come on, boys…"

FRANKIE'S POV

If there wasn't a pillow behind my head, I'd be beating it against the wall again. Larry has returned with the tablet and the combination. But he and Kahmunrah are arguin' 'bout whether Kahmunrah ought to hand over Jed and the others, or if Larry should give the tablet and the combination.

"OH MY GOD!!!" Kahmunrah screams, "I can't believe you just reached your hand across like that again! I just can't believe it!!! God, I really want to kill you! If you didn't know that Combination you'd be so dead right now, it would be UNBELIEVABLE!!!"

I sigh.

I was actually happy when the rouges showed up with Rikki because that meant some form of rational thinking…Capone-style…"We got the combination!" Capone shouts, "It's pi! 3.14159265. Yeah, your little friend sang like a canary!" he twitters, holding up an Albert Einstein bobble head.

"I'm sorry, Larry," Einstein says, "but in the eternal fued between brains and brawn, brawn inevitably wins…"

"Shut it!" Capone yells at the bobble head in his hand, flicking him in the face, "You remember what happened last time, huh?"

"Hey, that's enough," Larry reaches out to take Einstein.

"Hey, no touchin'!" Capone says all indignant.

"Aw, crap…" I mutter, "not this skittles again…."

Kahmunrah snatches the tablet away from Larry and puts it in place, "It must be a real bummer for you, Larry, that all your valiant efforts were in the end for naught," he pressed the squares, emitting from the gateway a bizarre high pitched whine, "Do you know what that sound is?"

Ivan puts his hand up.

"Really annoying?" I ask.

"It's rhetorical," Kahmunrah snapps, "that is the sound of the end." He begins to chant in Ancient Egyptian, and the gateway slowly opens, and gold and white light pours out.


	13. the big rescue

AN: Ok, everyone. If you're still reading this you and I need to have a serious talk. What up with no one wanting to review? This relationship is a two way street. If you want me to wirte something you want to read, I need feed back. If I don't get feedback, I'm going to assume my story sucks. If you don't think it sucks, you can just say 'it's good'. If you and only six people have reviewed at all. So please please please review.

FRANKIE'S POV

The gateway opens and out comes Kahmunrah's army. They're all tall, with the bodies of men, and the heads of hawks.

"Welcome to the new extended reign of Kahmunrah! Fifth King of Egypt…Now, the world!"

the look on Larry's face is like, "oh…nuggets." Rikki looks bored. Whether she really was or not, I don't know. Ivan, Napoleon and Capone look on. From the looks on their faces, this was loads more than they'd bargained for.

The warriors circle around Larry and Rikki. I strain forward against the chains that bind me to the column. The circle of bird-men gets so thick I can't see Larry or Rikki anymore.

"Hold!" shouts a small voice, "The mighty Octavius has returned! I ride on the back of nature's most fearsome creature! I ride the SQURILL!" the mighty steed charges forward, the tiny Roman general on its back. Octavius halts within the circle, and I can't see him, but I can hear him, "Do you wish to surrender honourably, or must this end in the spilling of your blood?"

"Really?" Kahmunrah asks, "This is your big rescue?"

"No. This is!"

The window burst into thousands of tiny pieces as the stone statue of Abraham Lincoln broke in through the window, a figure perched high on his shoulder. Lincoln sloutched down so the figure could leap down to the floor. He's a man in his early fifties in jeans and a large plaid button down with a full beard. He was large, but not fat. His fingers grasp a shotgun, and a bullet belt circles down from his shoulder. I know him any where even though it's been years since the last time I saw him, my father looks exactly the same as the day I left home, "Hey, Pops," I grin over at him.

He just sighs, "Rikki, why is my daughter chained to a poll?"

"Well…it's complicated, but that's sort of why I texted you."

Pops suddenly grins as wide as I've ever seen him, like he's going to laugh, "Holy crap, why didn't you tell me it was him?" Pops jerks his head at the agitated Kahmunrah, "I would have gotten here faster if I'd known you were up against that lunatic."

"You DARE to mock me?!" Kahmunrah shouts, then he barks an order to the Horus who look back at him with confusion. Kahmunrah sighs, "Caw Caw Caw."

The Horus fling the spears at my father and at Lincoln. Pops dodges the spears, which bounce off of the stone man.


	14. this is akward

AN: Sorry the last chapter was so short. The whole document didn't load. Here's the rest plus what would have been the next chapter.

Pops fires a shot at an angle up at the ceiling (resulting in some of it falling), startling and scattering the Horus. Those who didn't flee directly into the Underworld, were shoved along on their trip by Lincoln's hand, "Filthy half pidgeons!"

The sad strange bird men skidaddled as fast as they could, back to the safety of the land of the dead, against the protests of Kahmunrah, "No no no, do not return to the Underworld," the door slams shut, "Well…this is akward…"

"Well, it would appear my work here is done," says Lincoln, who stoops down in front of Larry, "Just remember, son. A house divided against itself can not stand," he straightens up and exits, shattering more of the stained glass window as he goes.

"What now?" Ivan asked.

"Well, I'm really not sure. But I'm pretty sure we should start by watching them die…"

"Streltsi, make them dead!"

"Rub 'em all out, 'cept for Blondie," Capone orders.

"She will die with the rest of he miserable family," Kahmunrah says.

"You said the skirt was mine."

"Yes, well that was before I knew who her family was. Now, she will die."

"Uh..dude, if I'm gonna die, can I ask you why you hate my family so much?" I ask, eager to buy some time.

"Well, it may serve you well to learn some history," Kahmunrah smirked, "Baby brother was born when I was fifteen or so. I was the pefect son, but because baby brother was so cute," he said cute like it tasted bad, "he was able to get away with every sort of wrong doing. When he began cutting teeth, he would chew on everything he could get his mouth around. Including the tablet. When I saw the infant drooling and munching on the tablet, I removed it from his grasp and gently chastised him. The brat began to scream. At which point your father's apprentices beat me like the thugs they were."

"Is that really what happened?" I ask Pops and Rikki.

"No." Rikki said. Pops shook his head, his jaw hanging slack.

"Well,, the details may have escaped me, but none the less, they must be punished! Now kill them!"

Capone looks between me and Kahmunrah, a calculating look on his mug, "Let me keep the kid. I can keep her in line. I don't even see why you gotta ice her family. You need servants right?"  
Kahmunrah looks at him with cold eyes, "You will obey orders. Now, I order you to kill that girl."

The rouges swarm forward, as bugle blast sounds through the hall.

"Oh, what now?" Kahmunrah stomped his foot on the floor.

There in the doorway, is a large group of people including, but not limited to, the New York Exhibits, Amelia Earhart, The Thinker, and a trio of cupids.

"We are not going to attack!" shouts Custer from the back of his horse, "Right now!"


	15. battle of the smithsonian

**AN: If you read this story than you should read this note because I have decided to make a change that is of some class of importance to this story. The fact of the matter is that it will end shortly. If you like this story, and as far as I know only seven of you do, then you might be freaking out right now. But don't worry. I'm working on a sequel. That one will be the Ahk/OC. I just figured that the two plot lines should be different. So the sequel will be in New York. REVIEW!!! People, please, I am literally begging you. Reviews make me believe that someone likes what I'm doing. From my reviews, only SEVEN PEOPLE reading this enjoy it at all. I can settle for critique. Please just give me feed back.**

It was complete and total chaos. It was a battle, but it was being fought by museum exhibits. I struggle against the chains that bind me tight to the column. A hun fights one of the streltzi and the axe misses my face by inches. The bond seem to loosen, so I assume that I was succeeding, and strain harder until the chains loose themselves entirely. A Napoleonic Imperial soldier charges at me, engaging me to fight. He slashes and stabs his bayonet at me. I dodge each parry and grab the thing, pulling it from his grasp and turning his own weapon at him. The coward runs, but at least I'm armed. I fight my way through the crowd, seeking out Rikki or Pops, but I can find neither.

An arm snakes around my waist and pulls me back through the brawl, back behind the column. Capone holds my arms, keeping me pressed against the column, I scowl, "Let up, slim"

"You think I let you down so you could run head first into the scrap?" he asks.

"Are you gonna kill me?"  
"If I wanted you dead, I woulda left ya tied to the column," he sighs, "Stay outta sight will ya?"

I scoff, "Not bloody likely."

He looks at me weird, "I guess my plan didn't quite pan out the way I thought it would."

"You can't trust criminals."

"Hey!" he looks insulted, "just stay here will ya?" and he leaves.

I scoff at his orders and move around the column back into the brawl. I'm in for a few minutes when I notice that apparently Larry has taken it upon himself to make Custer our leadrer. Which ofcourse resulted in the following.

Custer runs up to the squid, "Daddy long legs, you take up too much space, please remove yourself to the lawn, or some such place."

I have to run up just as Custer saunters off, "Squid we need you. You have reach on them. Make the extra limbs count!"

Custer next encounters the cupids, "Naked babies, lull the enemy into complacency with your gentle song!"

"Or you could shoot them with your arrows?" I offer

Custer ran up to the Thinker a drum in hand and says, "Tin man, please beat this drum in a military fashion!"

"No!" I amend the order, "Don't do that! It's a complete waste of time. Just continue as you were."

In a half an hour at most, the enemy soldiers realized that there was no one giving them their orders, as their bosses had gotten in a fight over who was the head honcho. Without any accomplices, Kahmunrah was left to make the orders. Since his sanity was hanging by a thread, there was no way that he could maintain the proper amount of control over the men, who bit by bit left the battle. When all were gone, Larry returns at this moment and Kahmunrah attacks him, launching Larry into an epic battle between a flashlight and a wicked looking sythe thingie,,, It was pretty awsum. Right in the middle of the fight, Larry tossed the tablet to Amelia like it was a Frisbee. She puts it in the space on the gateway and it opens as Larry gets Kahmunrah in a headlock.

"Who are you?" Kahmunrah asks.

"I'm the night guard," Larry says after a momentary pause, and Kahmunrah is shived back into the gateway, and his molecules separate into a million specs of dust, spiraling in the winds. Amelia slams the door shut.


	16. too much alike

It's over.

My first mission is, in technical terms, over.

The trio of rouges stand on line. Pops stands by Rikki, both of them looking expectantly at me. I go over to them.

"Frankie, why don't you walk your father out while I talk to Daley." Rikki says, "You take Capone and Napoleon to their exhibits, while you're at it."

I nod and walk out with my father. The four of us stroll out the doors, on to the mall. Napoleon's portrait is in the National Gallery so I walk in the direction.

The capital dome's lit up infront of us, with the light in the top on, "They're in session?" I ask.

"Why don't you come hime?" Pops asks.

"Coz I have a job now, an' it ain't somethin' I can welch on."

"You don't want this job."  
"How d'you know?"

He looks away, then over his shoulder at the two men, and sighs, "Just trust me, alright. I used to do this. I did this for twenty years, and I want something better for you."  
"Then you shouldn't have tried to marry me off when I was thirteen."

"You know that was your mother. I wanted nothing to do with it."

"But you went along with it, you could've done something."

"You didn't have to run, we would've figured something out."

"I did figure something out. This is better than being hitched to some guy I didn't know from a hole in the ground."

Pops falls silent, "You're right. I'm not mad at you, I'm really not. But why did you choose Frankie for a name?"  
"Frankie Marlow just seemed like such a spiffy name. It reminded me of those old detective movies we used to watch."

He sighs and stops in front of the Gallery, "Promise to call once a week."

"Of course."

"I'm proud of you."

I let the full effect of the words wash over me. My father is proud of me. Really and truly proud of me. I just stand there, allowing myself to really believe it.

"As much as I hate to break up such a sappy moment-" Capone says, completely ruining my moment of utter bliss.

Pops narrows his eyes at him a moment then turns and disappears into the dark.

"Remind me to kick your ass," I mutter, starting up the stairs.

The two follow at my heels. I open the door with the card-key that Joey'd given me and go in. I know where Napoleon's portrait is. As odd as it sounds, I spent hours in front of his portrait. When my school went on trips to the Gallery, I always made sure to visit the portrait. Anyway, the French gallery was a quiet place to think, and no one bothered some lonely little kid looking at Napoleon's portrait, wondering if the childhood of a self-proclaimed emperor was easier.

The frame is huge so he steps right up into his library, without the help I offer. A few guards that look like they belong to Louis XV are down at one end of the gallery, "Excusez-moi, Messieurs? Est-ce que cela vous d'arangeraitde veiller que l'homme ne parte pas?" (Excuse me, sirs? Would you please make sure that man doesn't leave?) I ask pointing to Napoleon, "Il est coupable des crimes contre le roi." (He is guilty of crimes against the king.)

"Oui ce serait notre honeur,"(Yes, it is our honor) one replies, and they bow.

I curtsy, then lead Capone out.

"What gives, kid," Capone asks, "You know my case is back in the castle. Why drag me around?" he asks as we go back down the stairs outside.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did you wanna go straight back in? Coz I thought you might want to stay out for a minute or two. You tried to bail me out, and I'm just tryin; to return the favor. You complainin'?"

"No, ma'am." He smiles, "You know, you'd've made a swell moll."

"And I almost had you figured for a gentleman. Infact, I've figured you for a gentleman quite a few times now," I stop in front of him, "Why do you always stop me from believin' that you are?"

"'Cuz everytime I'd thought you'd gone straight you'd act all screwy."

"Then I s'pose we're too much alike, Mr. Capone."

"Ain't that the gospel truth of it, Ms. Marlow?" He smiles, and it's a convincing smile, too.

We walk back across the mall, Capone starts half way across. I stop and turn back, "What up, dude?"

"It's just…well, I'm not gonna be alive tomarrow night. I thought I was gonna make it this time…"

"I'm sorry."

He smiles, "Ya know, if I'd have made it, I would've liked to take you out."

I sorta chuckle at the concept of dating the prohibition-age gang leader, "I don't think so."  
"Why not?" he asks, walking after me.

"Like I said, we're too much alike."

"I don't know if we're that much alike."

"Trust me, Al, it wouldn't have worked out. You and me, we've got criminal minds. The problem with people with criminal minds is that either no one can trust 'em or the can't trust no one else. That ain't exactly something that oughta be present in a relationship."

"That so, Freud?"

"T'is," I open the door, "G'on," I wave him in.

He goes in, and I put him in his case. As I start to close the door, he stops me, "We're gonna meet again, honey."

"Really?" I ask sarcastically, "How'd ya figure that?"  
"I just got a feelin'," he smirks as I close the glass, separating him from the world.

Outside, Amelia's red Vega sits on the grass of the mall.

"We're flyin' to New York?" I ask.

"Yes, of course! Don't tell me that you're afraid to fly!" exclaims the adorable aviatrix.

"No…it's just that DC and NYC have the highest air radar on the East Coast, so if we take off, we won't get fifty feet in the air b'fore the Air Force scrambles the jets."

"How do you know that?" Larry asks.

I smile goofy-like, "It's really a very funny story… anyway, Rikki can probably put a cloaking spell on the plane…right?" I ask, "Or atleast confuse the radars so we can pull this off."

Rikki nodds, "Yes."

"Well, alrighty then, let's ankle!" I hop into the crowded plane cab, and started passing out gum to the exhibits so the air pressure wouldn't freak them out too much…granted it did take a few tries before the Neanderthals understood not to swallow it…

As we lift off I look out the window. We bank over the reflecting pool and the Giant Squid waves good bye from where he happily chills. I wave back as we go up and up and up, and away.

**AN: That's the end of part one. As I said before, I'll start work on a sequel soon. Just because I'm done, doesn't mean that I wouldn't appreciate more...anyway, thank you to all of you who have reviewed as you guys are my motivation...maybe next time, I'll get more luck...**


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